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Tag Archives: cane
Advent Day 6: A Small Loss: The Cane
I am a little sad about this and I just want to talk about it. Please do not feel any need to solve this. I wonder if someone else has been through the same thing and so maybe this is me writing for them.
As I wrote about here a few months ago I had a very unpleasant experience with a man who seemed like a Top but was not very kind or skilled. I still find it hard to write about. I am only going to write about it because it is affecting me at the moment.
I don’t want to write too much about exactly what happened but I have to tell you a bit in order to explain. It has taken me an hour to get this far. 126 words. I don’t want to talk about it but I am going to woman up. I will get matter of fact.
He caned me so hard (from cold, no warm up at all) that I thought each stroke would make me vomit. I felt powerless to stop him. He would not stop. I could not speak out. It went on for a long time. There were many different implements. For weeks afterwards I was bruised, violent, all encompassing bruises that made me shut my eyes when I undressed. I cried a lot. I shook. I was nervous about loud noises.
And then I moved on. I did so quickly because I will not give my power away so easily. I will not be controlled by someone like that. And that is why I am so annoyed about this problem I want to tell you about.
I am struggling with the cane, really, really struggling with it.
The pain of it terrifies me, even though Dexter is careful with it. He never harms me with it. He is careful and observant and has given me no negative experiences whatsoever. This shows no small skill because as I have relaxed with him I have become more irrational in my response to the cane.
It makes me angry now. I can’t submit when it is used. I try very hard but I come from fear to pain to anger to rage. I used to really respond to the cane and now it has lost all positive meaning for me. I am so furious with myself that I have let that horrid little man have an impact on a positive part of my life and confused as to how it could have developed slowly.
For now, Dexter does not use the cane. It does not work and only makes it hard for me to submit. He has no wish to make me unhappy. He is always considerate of me and takes care to provide positive experiences in my life.
I want to reclaim the implement because I want to be mistress of my own responses. But I have not a clue how to do so.
I am not asking for help and certainly not sympathy. I am asking about your relationships with the implements you have known. Have you ever had a drastic change of approach to an implement? What caused the change? Did you ever get past it?
Would you like another?
Tagged cane
UNFAIR!
How can such a pretty bum get caned?
And, seeing that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, no man can cane a girl he loves.
If there any lawyers out there, please may I have a letter to that effect?
Thanks awfully.
Would you like another?
Tagged cane, cute bottom, punishment spanking, strict Tops
Fantasy Monday
They had been lovers for some time. She still found his imposing stature and demeanour to be so desperately attractive that it could make her forget herself. Watching him when they were out together she found herself distracted from her conversation and let the coquettish flirtation with her new acquaintance, that had so amused her for a few brief moments, flicker out and die.
The man she flirted with was intrigued at first, and then realizing that he had all but disappeared from her awareness, smiled at a friend across the room and excused himself, leaving her to her own thoughts. Her lover saw this, caught her eye, and tutted at her. Blushing, she lowered her eyes and quietly gasped a breath, and experienced a feeling somewhat short of shame.
Two hours earlier she had sat at her dressing table with her lover standing behind her, his fingertips resting lightly on her shoulders, his eyes on her face in the mirror. He was ready for the party and looked dashing in evening dress, and normally the difference in their clothing, her in stockings and a slip, hair all done up, would have made her rest her small hands on his and lean back for a kiss. But there was no time, and there was tension in the air.
She flicked her eyes at him with annoyance. When he told her to remove her slip and role her stockings down to her knees she whimpered pettishly.
“But you will muss me all up,” she said. “I just need five more minutes and I’ll be ready, and if we do that I’ll have to start all over again.”
She slammed a perfume bottle on the table.
‘Men can be so thoughtless, so utterly useless. They have no comprehension of the pressure we are under. I have to look good. I have to be seen as good enough for him.’
The fear she felt about the evening, about bitchy comments from ladies who saw their age difference and the difference in their status, her with no money and no family and him with her and not their own daughters. Those ladies assumed her to be a nothing, worse than a nothing, she was an interloper, a thief, a cuckoo in the nest. Those ladies and their vicious whispers preyed upon her, a Greek chorus around her while she dressed.
She sat still. He stood still. There was a brief détente before he came to take her into the mood that he chose for her.
That is how she found herself, naked but for her stockings and a bow in her hair, in the half-light of the schoolroom. Their relationship had its quirks; that they had a schoolroom was simply a manifestation of their particular type of love.
He stood in the half-light of the single shaded desk lamp, cane in hand, and watched her. She shivered a little in the cold, but he knew it was the embarrassment more than the chill in the air. He watched as the haughty defiance left her,watched it become the honest fear of another’s judgment, and finally reach a more permanent truth.
All she felt now was the shame of being seen this way by him, the only true source of authority in her life. When he saw the change, he called her forward and positioned her, bent over his wooden desk, breasts on the smooth wood, light against the dark.
Soft instructions about how apart to place her legs and how to arch her back whispered like moths in the dark, and gathered along her flushed cheeks and made them glow even brighter.
A light hand on her back, he swept into her rounded bottom with a cane. The pain was only mercy, as it drove all except thoughts of him from her mind. She called out with each stoke, and each time he let her, never forbidding her the release. Line did not cross line, but rather sat close to one another, expertly placed by the man who knew just how to impress her.
And it was this moment they both remembered, when he tutted at her hours later. She dipped her head and bit her lip. The ladies passing shook their heads in unseen disapproval at the beautiful young woman, dressed in her finery who did not notice them and only had eyes for her lover.
Would you like another?
Tagged cane, caning fantasy, punishment, schoolgirl caning


















