During WWII, British rural areas took down all the signposts to confuse any potential invaders. If you have ever driven around tiny country lanes over here you will understand how this would have made any Nazi go madder than a bag of pigs and give up any hopes of ruling us.
It will soon become apparent why I am saying this.
Americans on puddings seem to be like Tops on everything else, utterly confused. So as part of my outreach program I am writing this as a guide.
When an American says pudding he means something in a box made of s’mores and stuff. (I am almost sure of this.)
(Note for Brits – Americans are fantastic at lots of things. They make better cookies, to be discussed later, than the Brits, and they do better theme parks. There will be other things they are wonderful at but when an American says “pudding” it is best to smile politely, point to something in the sky, and run off in the other direction. But be nice as you do this because real life Americans are not like on the films and tend to be quite nice and very rarely do they roll their cars or shoot things for no apparent reason.)
Americans, lovely as they are, do not understand puddings.
When a British person says pudding she means the bit of the meal that comes just before cheese. It is a generic term for that course and can be any number of foodstuffs. We do this because we like puddings. They are good.
So, to recap – British pudding = good.
American pudding= bad.
We have sponge puddings such as spotted dick - and do not titter please. Spotted dick is quite a heavy suet pudding normally served with custard.
Sticky toffee pudding is a delight, a joy, and a coronary waiting to happen, but delicious enough to risk.
Of course there is plum duff and any number of rolly polys but, lest we forget, any sweet item served at the end of a meal is pudding. So cake can be pudding (although that is rare) but so is mousse (but not moose) and bread and butter pudding.
Bread and butter pudding is a pudding made from bread, butter, milk, sugar, eggs, and sultanas. It is not to be confused with bread and butter. It is easy to make, cheap, and wonderful. Make it, and people will thank you.
In the spirit of confusing and bewildering foreigners we also have Yorkshire pudding. Yorkshire is a county in the north of England and is the place of origin for this dish. It is a savoury dish that is served with roast beef and is scrummy. Some people do have it as pudding (they serve it with jam I think) but I have never seen that done and would not know how to approach the situation.
There is also black pudding. This is congealed pigs’ blood and is not to be had as pudding, it is served at breakfast, and white pudding which is even more horrid. I refuse to find out what it is or to eat it. You can have white pudding with chips and that is called a white pudding supper but it is normally served with breakfast.
Finally there are the other sorts of puddings that are served as main courses such as steak and kidney pudding (blugh) or even a steak and ale pudding these are to be served as main courses, obviously. There are lots of types of this type of suet pudding (venison, rabbit, steak and mushroom amongst them) and so you should remember there are suet puddings (for example, spotted dick) and suet puddings (for example, steak and ale)- totally different as I am sure you now understand.
We do have biscuits. These are (almost always) sweet and may be served as a snack with tea*. These are not cookies, but a cookie is a biscuit. Biscuits may also be savoury such as water biscuits or cream crackers which are to be served with cheese.
A cookie is a biscuit which is soft in the middle, a little chewy, and they are scrummy. We think they came over from America. Americans are very good at making them.
We also have lots of other kinds of biscuits. These are not served for breakfast. There are a gazzillion types of biscuits and British people will get very het up about the choice between a bourbon and a pink wafer. We may dunk them in our tea. We may sometimes do this at tea time, but not often.
There are also biscuits to be served with cheese. These are savoury and will often be served after pudding but I have known them to be served for supper.
*Tea is a meal in the early evening and is also a drink. You may be asked if you want tea with your tea, and being a foreigner you may accept or decline, but we would always drink tea at tea time, and of course we will drink tea after tea and sometimes before tea. In fact tea can be had with any meal including tea.
A cream tea is obviously not a cup of tea with cream in it (blugh) but tea and scones served with cream.
There. Now you know. I hope that helped.
Would anyone like some tea?
As requested by Kaki, here is a recipe for scones. They really are silly easy to make and should be eaten warm, with butter and jam and a cup of tea, of course. If you feel super decadent then have some whipped cream.
Oven- gas mark 7, 425 F, 220 C
Baking sheet either greased or floured.
Sift 8 oz (225gr) of self raising flour into a bowl and rub 1 1/2 oz (20 gr) of butter into it, using your fingertips.
Stir in 1 1/2 tablespoons of caster sugar in and a pinch of salt.
Use a knife ( but I use my hands all the way through) to add 5 fluid ounces (150 ml) of milk but do this little by little.
Roll out the mixture onto a floured board (no thinner than 2 cm, I like them thicker than that) and cut into circles. I have to say that I do not roll. I like scones that are less orderly and I use my hands to make them all the way through. It depends whether you want pretty or rustic.
You cook them for 12- 15 mins and when they are ready you can tap their bottoms (!)- if they sound hollow they are ready to go. Put them on a wire rack while you make a pot of tea and get the plates out.
Eat them and feel very English.
PPS
If you want to order possibly the world’s best sticky toffee pudding then go here. (I am sure their other pudding is good too but ginger makes me all worried for some reason.)
If you want to order possibly the world’s best sticky toffee pudding then go here. (I am sure their other pudding is good too but ginger makes me all worried for some reason.)
