Mornings are not for the faint hearted, they are not for the meagre of spirit, and if you do not approach them with due regard and respect they will take you down and destroy you before you have so much as opened your curtains.
If you rush at a morning it will see your foolhardiness as a reckless disregard for the potency of the day and your uppance will soon be comed and it will be in no way pleasant.
So, steady as you go please. Drink the tea that is brought to you by a brave and loving man. Take care not to burn your tongue. At this point light conversation may be had but it will be from the radio. Any expectation of you forming words will be met with a withering glare or, in extreme circumstances, a single raised eyebrow.
There are those who like to exercise at this time of the day. We will allow that as some people exist more in their bodies than their minds (if you know what I mean) and we should let them do whatever it is that helps them to wake up.
For the more cerebral amongst us we will be gently brought back to the waking world with warm water caressing our naked bodies. A shower, or a bath if you have the time, and you may use this time to plan world domination or decide on black or brown/black mascara – whatever takes your fancy.
Breakfast is desperately important. Don’t rush it, and try to make sure it is healthy and filling. I have a penchant for porridge with bananas and maple syrup. –
On a work day, your clothes and all silly work things should have been prepared the night before to save any looking in difficult places. This can lead to frustration and tense discussions. It also difficult to explain to a man that you are really an organised and efficient lady when you are bottom up looking for a whatayacallit.
On a non-work day you will have achieved so much and be so far ahead of the day that you may retreat back to bed with your beloved who should reward you with love.
When do you venture forth into the world I will choose to borrow a quotation from CJ, and I do not know where she got it from, but I do like it -
“Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning, the devil says, “OH CRAP, SHE’S UP!”
NB
Let us note with care that nowhere in correct morning preparation is there room or even call for a spanking. A morning spanking to “prepare you for your day” is contraindicated.
This is NOT part of what should happen in the morning.
