Tops are men. Men like to play sports. Although sometimes they get carried away – look at the expression on Mr Hope’s face. He looks as though he could have an ulterior motive. But what could that be?
Here are Mr and Mrs Bogart. He is smiling much more than she is. She is holding on tight to that bat as though letting it go will cause her much suffering. I can only presume that is because is such a dab hand at ping pong that he has beaten her soundly in the last game and the thought of that pains her.
And here you can see how this girl has despaired that her bottom is so big that even a ping pong bat will not even cover one half of it. Look how this lovely man has come to save her. He is showing her how pert and perfect her bottom is. She is delighted by this information.
And here a Top is showing his girl how not to go overboard on the self tan. He is about to gently lay the red bat on her bottom (where the colour is the most pure) in order to compare the hues. Her expression is because she is about to sneeze due to wearing too few clothes.
That is how to play ping pong with Tops.




















