And for reasons that I am not going to explain, here are some pictures …
This one is that moment when you become very conscious of your bottom, the kind of feeling when you wish it were less obvious.Alas and alack the day, I do not look like this but there is that moment when you try to have your bottom being exposed a kind of squirmy thing, the valiant hope that he will be distracted and decide that he cannot wait to kiss you and all nasty thoughts go from his head.

But, there is nothing like a man who has just one thing on his mind, isn’t this a horrid feeling? A sinking, scary, please let it be over in one minute feeling.

But it never is over in one minute. It takes ages and ages for it to be over. I did not whether or not to use this picture, it seemed a little undignified and then I realised that this is the perfect picture to show just how it feels. Trying to cool your red and swollen bottom, any pretence at being able to hide forgotten and feeling very contrite- I think this picture is perfect.

Would you like another?