Hello again.
I will write a proper post over the next couple of days but I have to tell you what has happened.
As you know, I was so upset about what happened before and I knew I could not let it rest. I couldn’t just allow myself to let that man’s paw prints be on me any more. I knwo it has only been a week, but it has been a miserable week and, now that I think of it, it has been a miserable couple of weeks.
I couldn’t even read about spanking, my own posts made me feel sick and I worried that I would not get the feelings back. And I kept crying. Dev has spent ages sitting with me while I cried. And I won’t let this happen to me. I just won’t.
So with Dev’s encouragement and permission I went to see a Top friend this weekend. It was a high risk strategy for everyone. I was terrified that I would see the palm of his hand and end up sobbing in a ball in the corner (which does disrupt a weekend somewhat).
To cut a long story short, I didn’t. I am so happy that I literally cried on the train coming home. I cried feeling so happy that I felt like me again.
I am ok. I am better than ok, I feel wonderful. I know this has been a rollercoaster and I am a little ashamed that I took you on it. But the support I have had from people, in email, on here and on twitter has been amazing. I needed it. I needed that collective gasp and horror at what had happened. I needed to know that not only should I not put up with it but also that I must not accept it.
My bottom and thighs still bear the marks of the man that hurt me – but he is gone from my head. I have sent him away. And now that he has gone, I am back.
I am so, so happy that I wish I could show you how it feels, that I could share it with you. I’ll tell you all about it soon.
Thank you so much for your support
xx
Good for you, Poppy! I’m so pleased you are back to your sparkly self and “he who must not be named
” has been banished from your mind.
Hugs,
Hermione
Thank you!
That is so funny! I have been calling him “He who shall not be named” all weekend!
I must have been channelling my inner Hermione.
Poppy. good evening.
So you got back on your bike again and apart from a wobble or two, you were fine.
I never for a moment doubted your strength, I am glad that Dev was able to support you.
Poppy. part two.
and warm 
Sorry about this, my PC is in hospital being reformated, I’m not too familiar with the machine I’m using.
I’m hoping that the comimg week will be much better for you.
Paul.
This must have been awful for Dev too, so glad to hear you sounding more Poppylike. This calls for a celebration, cheers
Welcome back, Poppy!
Poppy, what a huge and brave step towards putting such a dark episode behind you. Save the memory for educational purposes only. So happy for you!
Hello Poppy, I have been waiting for this very post and now it is here I feel much better having read it.
My internet connection doesnt allow me to open your and Devlin’s other place and I must say I miss reading all the goings on.
Bisous Cruel
Hooray! So happy for you. Lovely
Hugs hugs hugs!
So happy your back Poppy and I hope the coming week is a good one for you.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful! Poppy feels like Poppy again, and we are all celebrating! I am so glad you had a nice weekend. I am so glad for many things for you!
Glad you are have such a nice weekend and went to see your friend and are getting back to the old Poppy.
Thank you, Paul and no need to apologise, you communicated perfectly. Dev has been a tremendous support, he is a wonderful man. This is going to be a great week, I hope you you too.
Alice, I think it was awful for him too. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for a man to see the girl he loves bruised and sobbing. It had to sorted, for him as well as me. I wanted to be the girl that makes him smile.
Olivia, I know you had a terrible time recently too. I am sending you some of my good fortune. I hope it helps.
Judy, you are right about the education, I learned a stack of stuff. Thank you
Cruel, I am glad to be able to write it as you are glad to read it. I am really sorry you can’t come and play at our place, come as soon as you can.
Girl, thank you- you sound like I feel!
Ronnie, thank you and I hope you have a fabulous week too.
Scarlet! I squoze! I took you three (Kaki & Alice) with me when I was playing in London on my own. I thought you would like the art.
Kaki, I am quite myself again which means I can join in with playing with you all and being good and helpful. I missed you. I know you were there and it was me that was not but still, I missed you.
Hooray! Poppy is back!
I’m so glad that you’re back to your old self, Poppy. Please don’t be ashamed about taking us on this roller coaster ride. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to open your heart to us. It’s an honour to be on this journey with you.
Shall we all celebrate?
(Sorry, if I sound rather disjointed, it’s because I’m just woken up. It’s only 6:10am here.)
Good morning, Mindy.
We should all celebrate! I like that you wake up ready to party. Champers all around I say.
So glad to hear that you are on your feet again.
Lunargirl
HOORAY!! i must admit i’ve been checking in compulsively, worrying about you. dare i mention that this was you being brave, taking the power away from that damned fool and giving it back into deserving hands? =) i’m sending you hugs, (even though i know it’s not very british!)
“I know this has been a rollercoaster and I am a little ashamed that I took you on it.”
How very English of you Poppy!
We Americans are rarely so put together and proper as all that! I for one am very happy that you shared this, not only because it has helped you, but because it may have helped someone else that you do not even know and may never meet, but who will read here and believe that she too can get past her old hurts and scars. It was very brave of you. Thank you. I so admire your courage and perseverance! Sara
I’m so glad that you’re feeling much revived and happy again, Poppy! I had hoped that was what your visit to London this weekend was for
I also hope that, if nothing else, this has shown you how much we care about all of the Poppy pieces, not just the sparkly happy fun ones 
.
Way to go, Poppy! I’m so glad you pushed through the pain and the fear and came back to yourself so quickly.
If I may be permitted, I’d like to pitch the average Englishman to you as being a possible 75% more likely to “get” what a spanking girl wants than the average American. I remember my first trip to the UK when I was in my late 20′s. I was only there three weeks, but two out of the four total strangers I hooked up with were ready, willing and able to spank me. When you meet a new guy in your homeland who you think is cute enough to play with, what can you lose by running this by him? More likely than not, he’ll be ready to accept the challenge. Nice thing about turning a vanilla man into a spanker is that he doesn’t have the preconceived notions of what a dom is supposed to do from watching extreme and overwrought spanking videos, so you don’t have to do that type of re-educating him back down to a normal level of intensity.
Anyway, cheers for Poppy. Maybe you’ll reconsider coming to a party stateside after all.
Best wishes,
Eve
Poppy, that was so very brave of you, and you were rewarded. Many would have given up on this thing we love because of one astard-bay. Sometimes, the best thing after a bad scene is a good one, just to convince ourselves anew that the good guys still exist.
Happy for you… and Devlin too.
I am so very happy for you and may cry just to show you how happy I am for you! All’s well that ends well.
Hugs,
Larry
Poppy, I am so relieved that you are feeling better. Please feel free to take us on roller coasters any time you need to – everyone here loves you.
hugs,
Ally
Thank you, Lunargirl. Apparently, you can’t keep a naughty girl down- who knew?
Mehitabel, it was not in the least British but very welcome. All Horrid’s power is gone and he is a little squeaky thing and the spanker’s hands were terribly deserving.
Sara, thank you, that was what I hoped too. That if someone else has to go through this (and I know the world is such that they will) they will know there is a path through it. Thank you again.
Em, I know you care and it blows me away. I am so excited about telling you about it- can’t wait, can’t wait!
Eve, thank you and thank you for all your support in email. This guy is not vanilla though, not even a little bit. He makes me look vanilla and innocent (which compared to him, I am). I will dream of going to a party but honestly, I would be hidden behind Dev. You would have to peek around his shoulder to find me. But the idea of it thrills me.
Erica, thank you and you know, on my site, you can swear. I can’t tell anyone off- even if I wanted to, which I don’t. It was a big, fat hairy risk and it paid off! Dev smiled at me last night and was all relaxed and Toppy which I have missed. He has hated all of this. I love him and I love to see him relax again.
Larry- it was wonderful!! Let’s not cry, lets sit and whisper to each other of wonderfulness. I am so glad that you are home at last. I have missed you.
Ally, I feel that. It amazes me and I love the feeling. Thank you.
Reading this makes me very happy. Very happy indeed. It’s good to know that the battle-gowns can be put away
It is wonderful that you’ve bounced back and reclaimed the joy. Viva Poppy 
Happy you’re happy again!