I was wondering recently, why do I get this urge to write?
It has the same strength and urgency about it as the urge to run, eat, kiss or anything else that has an atavistic element to it.
I thought it made no sense until I realised something that I must have known all along.
Writing is a form of submission.
Writing will not let me lie; it is the ultimate confessional. The truth is all that will do, but more than a dull retelling, writing demands consideration of the truth. It must be adorned with understanding, and for me writing about this subject is an intoxicating combination.
I am just at the start of my writing trail. I am learning the skill as I go. I am not just learning the basic rules (personal pronoun agreement, anyone?). I am learning to push the boundaries of what I consider acceptable to say or admit, whilst maintaining walls.
As a brat I long to push boundaries, and as a girl fascinated by spanking, submission, sexuality, and all that accompanies that merry trio, I yearn to whisper in your ear all about what I am thinking and feeling.
Each time I write I want to tell you more and more. I have learned how to fold in something I have experienced with something I want to try, with something I would never do. Except the last bit, I have not yet found the thing I would spurn. I would shake in my little boots, but with the right man leading the way, I am all open petaled and ready to go.
The trick is, of course, in not just slapping the truth on the table like a wet fish. That would be telling nothing and would, the greatest sin of all, be dull.
Writing is a form of undressing in front of you; I am submitting myself to the reader.
I must have known that all along. Just look at the title of this blog. I thought I was submitting to Himself. But I was not, because all along it was you, it is to all of you
If you are a girl, like me, we submit to each other. I undress next to you in the dark and we meet and whisper to each other, the dark making it safe to swap secrets. Our eyes are level, we don’t boast, and we are not proud. We are safe and naked here as new buds. Some of you just whisper “me too” in my ear and we don’t hold hands because we are too shy but we know we are not alone.
If you are a man, a toppy kind of man, then this is becoming the kind of writing where I slip my knickers off and hand them over as I write. Of course you will have to be a clever toppy man to know that. You will have to understand that I am whispering to you a kind of pillow talk. I can’t meet your eye, but piece by piece I remove my clothes and stand here and tell you what I could hardly bear to think when I was clothed. I whisper in your ear, my lips in light contact with your skin, and you stay still and calm, knowing that I am brave in the darkness. As I speak I tell you everything you had long suspected.
For me, I am delighted to have your ear. I have so much to tell you. That you would listen is everything I have ever dreamed of.
Writing is the most delicious form of submission that I have to offer, and that is why I write.
I can’t do two blogs. I want to do one. I want to play. You have no idea the number of times when I have popped onto the blite, made a comment, and then wanted to stay and play but I could not because I had to go behind the scenes to do something.
I am going to have my Fantasy Mondays on the blite. I am going to have my deeper posts. I am going to do everything I do here but more of it. If you don’t believe me just wait. Look tomorrow on the blite, and Monday, and Saturday, and on and on and on.
Thank you for reading. Please come and read some more.
Poppy
xxx
At times when things are heavy in my heart, and my hurt is great, I will come along and see your humourous take on things, and it smooths the hurt. Other times, I will find that you have found the right words expressing what I am feeling, although I have not said a word to you.
I will always come back to read some more, whether it is one or two blites – because everytime I have visited, I leave as if I had visited a true friend – time spent with lots of giggles, sadness, wisdom, tears, teasing and the sharing of dreams.
I don’t know how you do it, but there is an authenticity, a sincerity to the way you write. It is truly unique in my opinion. Some casual phrase that you slip in, some unexpected turn in the sentence… It is so unaffected, so genuine, that it meets the reader directly, and in a paradoxical way your “submissions” are often quite disarming.
I now have that thing where I am shy and don’t quite know what to say.
I shall say thank you and acknowledge that I am quite vain and insecure enough to read these comments 57 times over.
I have been spending all this week just writing for one blog (the blite) and it is such a relief.
Today I have written three Monday posts and am all of a dither in the best way. I feel relaxed and confident about writing and I know I am doing the right thing.
I just read what you wrote again, Lorraine and Raven and am so shy but really, really enormously flattered.
xx
Poppy, I love your submissions! You are a very talented writer and you have a way of expressing yourself so honestly and with such vulnerability. I’m not good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words but you do it so well. It never ceases to amaze me how you write so beautifully and with such ease, regardless of the topic (humourous, contemplative or serious). I do look forward to each of your post.
Thank you for writing.
I am quite breathless, to stand here in the dark with you. I am leaning forward, my hair falling across my cheeks, to hear what you are whispering. I know you are here. I hear the rustle of your clothes, the soft sigh of your breath. And then you say something, softly, just the smallest sentence, really, but it is all so true that it makes the blood rush to my face. I cannot believe you know that about me. I cannot believe you said it about you.
But I am so glad you did.
I will always be here reading. You lift me a million times over to a place I may never have gone alone. And it is good to be here, in the dark, together.
Scarlet, and Poppy as well…
I sat here reading this post — late to the party as usual — and was thinking how it always seems that when I least expect it, Poppy has been looking in her mirror and catching glimpses of me. I took a moment to read it through again, and once more, trying to figure out how to voice my reaction. Then I read your comment, Scarlet… and this is EXACTLY how I feel. Thank you both.
Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say (and to read!)
I like that you are late to the party, I like the fact that you commented.
Scarlet is wonderful, isn’t she?
Poppy, good evening.
and warm 
I understand and treasure the intimacy that you offer.
For me you cannot write too much, though sometimes I worry that you will over do it,
and the well may run dry.
Once again you are undervaluing yourself, you write very well, and I’m very fussy about our language.
Have a good night.
Paul.
I never thought of this, the submissiveness of saying, as Rod Serling would, “submitted for your approval,” but Poppy did because that’s the way an incisive mind works. And I’ll add my thanks to hers for the kind and thoughtful comments here.
However, Poppy has been entirely too busy this week after her tiring trip abroad, so I have packed her off early. She’s going mountain climbing tomorrow and needs rest.
Poppy, I do love your writings, whether they be deep and thoughtful, silly, erotic, and everything in between because that is what we are. Your words speak to me in ways that often make me think more about ttwd and how it relates to everyday life.
I like that we can whisper and share our secrets with each other without fear of shame or embarrassment.
Poppy, never, ever doubt your writing talents, they are fantastic! I only wish my own musings could be as strong. Plus, you are writing about something so difficlult that most of us find it difficult to assimmilate.
Huggs, ddx
I cannot say much here that hasn’t been already said.
I am also very comforted by the knowledge that there are others just as “in the dark” as I am *in the dark*.
I comprehend exactly what it is that you mean by writing being a form of submission, and though I never thought of it as such, I think you are quite correct.
Lunargirl
Oh I have so much to say and and I find myself at such a disadvantage. Poppy there is such a wisdom in your words that they resonate with every one who reads them. Yet there are so many possibilities that remain unsaid. It leaves my mind in a whorl with the wonder of those possibilities. I am but a student in this life and this is my classroom. I wait paitently for my next lesson.
@ Scarlet I have been working at those drawings if you choose to have a look
Cruel.
Cruel, I saw what you did and I thought it delicious. This is my classroom too, we shall wait together, although, as I wrote, from now on we will have to wait on the other site.
Lunargirl, I had to be correct at some point! I am comforted by all you girls being in the dark with me.
dd, thank you. I was not so much doubting my writing here as understanding it and realising that now is the time to move to one blog.
Kaki, and I like the way that I have you to chat to on my ponderings. It makes it so much better with others.
Paul, gentleman as ever. I too worried that the well would run dry and since I decided to commit to one blog I have written a ton of stuff.
Dev, thank you- you know what for.
i was very comforted by your words. i never thought of words being a medium in which two women could share such intimacies. i am no young but my years have taught me much about submission. it is my secret treasure. thank you.
Poppy, I know you have been wrestling with the two blogs and time pressures for a while. It sounds like you’ve sorted out what is important to you, and I’m glad.
I will continue to enjoy, smile at, be challenged by what you write wherever it is.
Well, Poppy, it is a real pleasure to listen to you – so thank you!
MrJ, thank you so much for reading me. Please do come and read me at http://www.devlinoneill.com.
Alice, thank you. You are right, it has been a struggle and I feel that I have made the right decision. I am writing much more now that the pressure is off- ironic but not unexpected.
Anne, I never thought words would being such a source of intimacy either. I never imagined anything like this when I started a blog but here we are, it makes me smile.
Mmmmmm. Perfect. Thank-you Poppy. Writing is indeed, a submission. This explains many things.
(miss you, and everyone!)
Thank you- come and play with us over on our shared site. We miss you too. xx
Poppy — I always find it much easier to write about spanking in general than to speak of personal experiences. I believe this is because I am mostly a very shy person.
Needless to say, i greatly admire anyone who, through the written word, is willing to bend themselves over the computer desk and bare all. That’s always the impression I get when I read the wonderful things you write.
Dr. Ken