There is a moment as a schoolgirl when you have a crush, an odd kind of crush.
It is a longing, a very intense longing. It is the kind of feeling that wakes a girl up at three in the morning with a desire that makes her confused at her dreams and bewildered. It is wanting to touch the object of your affection, wanting to trace an outline of lips with your fingers but at the same time it is wanting to be the person you desire. It is a silent obsession, a hushed soliloquy to a feminine temptation.
My school days are behind me but I have a schoolgirl crush. It is part erotic desire and part wanting to be who it is that I adore. I am amazed at every picture. I sit open mouthed and quiet. I want so much when I see her that I don’t know how to say what it is that I want. 
The object of this schoolgirl crush is Rosaleen Young. I do not know anything about her and I do not need to. I only need to know what she has conveyed.
I think she might be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. It is not just that her face has symmetry or that her eyes are large. It is that her beauty reminds me of the love I have for Victorian literature. It is that she shows a balance between lust and innocence. She is all at once woman and childlike. I don’t know if I want to be her or if I want to kiss her. I want one, I want both. I want, want, want.
I will try to explain what I like about her so much but I am aware that by deciphering this longing I may, by scattering the pieces on the table before you, reduce its magic.
I like her hair. It is long, like a child from a book that was written in raised font with thick, gilt pages. It is hair that gets brushed a hundred times before bed and looks best with a ribbon in it. It is hair that trails down a body, that turns and squirls, a tale before bedtime. 
Her eyes are wide as disbelief, open as Becky Thatcher’s straining to find her way home. They express impatience, sorrow, fear, joy. They show everything that I have to express with written words, everything I am ashamed to say out loud. 
I have heard her voice only a couple of times. I do not want to hear it too much. I am scared the spell might be broken. But it was petulant without precociousness, aware without self conciousness. I want that. I want to be that. I saw her argue in a way that I would never dare to. She was funny and light, as bright as playing in the garden. I want to be as brave as her. I want to have that touch, that interplay with others.
Her bottom is so pretty and perfect that even I would want to see it bared. But then I get overwhelmed and confused because that leads to the “sp …” word and I do not want that. She creates such empathy that when I see a hand strike her I feel it.
I think she is beautiful. 
She is the girl of my dreams. I want to be near her. I want to be her. 
Very sweet, Poppy. And Rosaleen is quite beautiful.
Here’s what I think: we girls work very hard at being pretty. It would be amazing if sometimes we didn’t find each other pretty, too.
I think that’s why girls kiss and hug each other when we meet. We are enchanted by each other’s prettiness, and are fully cognizant of the effort it took to appear so lovely. For instance, when I see a girlfriend whose hair looks amazing that day, I almost always find myself reaching out to touch it while I exclaim over it. We are very touchable, we girls.
I’m pretty sure the boys think so.
Poppy, can’t say that I share you feelings.
Never the less Rosaleen was one of the first sp****g models that I took note off when I first accessed the internet.
Her childlike looks, her apparent vulnerability are indeed very attractive.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul. (confused???)
Paul, why the confusion?
Read Scarlet’s comment- she puts it so beautifully. (Hi, Lisa! I love what you wrote – you are being most wise today.)
She is a cute girl. And kissing a girl is a sweetest thing. Girl-kisses are so different to man-kisses
I really liked to black and whites. I wish I was brave enough to pose like her. And pose in the situations she is posing in showing her face
Lovely entry, Poppy!
XXX
Maria
Thank you, Maria.
She is cute and girls do the softest kisses, don’t they? She is terribly photogenic.
Yes, the kisses are soft and they taste good (they taste SAFE! Am I being weird?)
I wish I got to photograph someone like her one day *sigh*
-M
Not wierd at all, just honest.
xx
There must be something in the air, Poppy, for us both to be writing about our admiration of girls.
And Rosaleen Young is inspiring. I understand completely about wanting to be near her and BE her all at once, to want to see her bared but not spanked. (Although I admittedly enjoy watching it happen! Does that make me a horrible person?)
Lovely post!
Poppy, you called me confused in a reply to my comment in The Other Place.
Yes men are different to girls, as the French say, “vive la différence.”
I imagine that the girls that I have loved in my life would have been somewhat disappointed had I kissed them like a girl, I think mens’ kisses are rather more possesive.
Lisa’s comment wasn’t up when I wrote mine, and I don’t disagree with her.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul. (Just a man!)
Hi, Paul, honey scroll up- after you signed off in your earlier comment in this thread you can see you wrote “confused” – that is what I was replying to.
There is nothing “just” about it.
Oh, Paul, please no, girls never want men to kiss them like a girl. Vive le difference, as you say!
And it’s much nicer, really, for girls to admire other girls, than it is to admire their girlfriends’ men. Honestly. No girlfriend likes that. At all. Trust me on this one.
I so agree. Liking your man is fine but fawning and all the rest- shudder.
I too like that it is very different with boys and girls.
Oh, wait, to clarify: you can say, “Oh, he’s so handsome (sweet to you, romantic, smart, etc)–you’re really perfect for each other.” You cannot, however, hug him (except oh so briefly when coming and going) or touch his hair when you ask him who cut it, or lean in close to smell his cologne and tell him how wonderful he smells.
With your girlfriends, that is all part of the fun! And since (many) girls love to snuggle and touch and hug and laugh, what could be more natural?
To continue the example, you rarely see men hug and touch each other’s hair and smell each other’s cologne. Or hardly ever. (not that there’s anything wrong with that…)
It’s all just the way we live. Society. Ooh, la la. Poppy, where did you get those shoes? They’re darling! Oh, how cute, they have little bows! Can I try them on?
See? Now imagine Dev asking to try on Michael’s shoes because they have cute little bows…boggles the mind, doesn’t it? No, we girls are just adorable. That’s just how it is.
Girls are adorable, they are safe with each other, they can kiss each other, they can admire each other to distraction and brush each other’s hair, and when we see two girls do that with each other, the best we men can do is set our jaws, squash down our envy, and agree with both of them.
That is especially so for me as regards Poppy and Rosaleen.
I could see Rosaleen admiring Poppy’s long strawberry blonde hair, and her lips, which are a smallish bow-shaped affair right under her little nose, and her envying Poppy’s ability to not look like she’s pouting all the time – which would make Poppy pout, and then Rosaleen would laugh, especially when Poppy says she never pouts. I could see Rosaleen being in awe of Poppy’s upper endowments, which would be so wrong for Rosaleen while being so, so right for Poppy.
Girls should admire, kiss, and caress other girls, if for no other reason than to remind their men how admirable, kissable, and caressable all girls are.
Dev, you do understand everything, don’t you? And I love how you love Poppy.
He does, doesn’t he, Scarlet?
It is raining here and I am tired and want to stay at home but reading that made me smile and feel very happy and loved. I am a lucky girl.
Dev, you can write about the friendship between girls so in a lovely way
X
Maria
Thank you, girls.
Rosaleen was wonderful. She retired much too early, and I understand for health reasons. I hope she is OK.
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Nothing to say about Rosaleen. I agree with everything you said. Even I want to be her. But, my comment is directed to your writing skills. Your words are pure poetry, they paint a beautiful word picture – one as beautiful as Rosaleen.
Larry
If this post makes me feel excited, I feel even more excited by the comments. I love the way girls are with each other; of course, us men would like them to be that way in private too, but that’s just our baser instincts thrusting their way to the surface. At the same time I know that girls have far fewer physical barriers between them than men do, and I love that too. Those two wonderful words ‘schoolgirl crush’ press some delicious buttons, especially when you, dearest Poppy, use them to describe how you feel about the delectable and oh so spankable Rosaleen Young.
PS Thank you, Dev, for giving us those teasing but thought-provoking descriptions of Poppy’s loveliness.
Thank you so much. I liked coming back here myself- it reminded me how strong this feeling is.
I have to write more about it right this minute.
xx
PS Writing it now for tomorrow- loving it. Thank you for giving me some inspiration.
Ooh goody – I’m dying to read it!
It is up now!
