Click here to listen to the song while you read.
Maria: Perhaps I had a wicked childhood Perhaps I had a miserable youth But somwhere in my wicked, miserable past There must have been a moment of truth
For here you are, standing there, loving me Whether or not you should So somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good
Nothing comes from nothing Nothing ever could So somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good
Captain: For here you are, standing there, loving me Whether or not you should
Maria: So somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good
Maria and the Captain: Nothing comes from nothing Nothing ever could
Maria: So somewhere in my youth Captain: Or childhood
Maria: I must have done something . . .
Maria and the Captain: Something good
I think this is such a pretty song. I was talking to Himself today and it popped into my mind. He was explaining something to me. I had seen a picture that made me sad. It was a very bruised bum and I could not understand how that would happen, how that could be right. He explained it to me. It helps me so much that I can speak to someone like him. That I can sit with him and ask him about people and the world helps me so much. It lets me feel better, less tired, less broken, less afraid.
But as the conversation segued into something else, he was describing something about how and where I bruise. I bruise only a little on the most tender part of my bum. He was telling me this and I asked him where the most tender part is and he told me. He did not loiter on the description, just a short geographical location and his words just made me swoon. I have met a man who turns me on beyond all reason with just a few words about my bottom. He was not even trying. He does not even know what he did.
I am reading his book, his new book that he is writing right now. I am seeing this man create a book. I read his books before I knew him. I have read myself there, and now I see glimpses of myself all over again, but this time he knows me. I feel like a muse, something romantic.
I still feel awkward, like someone who is not quite the woman that others are. I worry that I will discovered and seen for being not as I should be. I should be more graceful, more beautiful. But I am not. I am starting , though, when I see myself through his eyes, to see that my way of being is still good, still to be treasured. I can compare myself to other women, women who don’t fall over, women whose hair is neat and styled, women who look like I always wanted to and know that he looks at me and loves me, just how I am.
In my fantasies the man would know when I was lying or covering something up. As a child I learned to be such an excellent liar that no man (or woman) could spot me hiding the truth. But this man will look at me and know in a moment that I am trying to deceive him. He knows when there is more to say and he knows when I feel something that I want to tell him. If he were fictional I would not believe he could exist. 
But he does. And he loves me. 
So one day, a long time ago, I must have done something very good. And that being the case… 
How come I get spanked all the time?
Poppy, this was so beautiful, so tender, such a tribute to love…and then you made me laugh out loud! I’m so glad you have Himself and he has you. Regardless of how you describe yourself (“I should be more graceful, more beautiful”), I can’t imagine that that’s true. Everything you write tells me that you know quite a lot about being a beautiful woman, and a bewitching one, at that.
Life is too short for “shoulds” anyway, Poppy. Better a smart, witty, funny, pretty girl who falls over sometimes than some perfect beauty. Perfection must be very tiring; we should have compassion for those perfect creatures whose hair is never out of place, and who never stumble in their high heels. There’s nothing more beautiful than laughter, and the people who make us laugh.
You make me laugh. A lot. Have a wonderful day.
Poppy, this song brought back memories.
A pretty song, and a wonderful post.
I don’t know what happened in your childhood, to make you so down on yourself.
Now you have someone who truly knows you, loves you and thinks that you are wonderful, the spanking is just polishing the emerald.
Of course I cannot know you as well as Himself does, to me you come across as interesting, intelligent and desirable.
I’m sure that you make a wonderful muse.
The thingamajig is working, thank you.
Have a good week-end.
If I haven’t said this before, your posts brighten my day.
Which is why I sign myself,
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Maria is such a cute name…
This was a very sympathetic post! I feel the same very often. But guess what? Clumsy girls who aren´t that perfect all the time and who do silly, clumsy things are absolutely sweet!
And as a child and also as a young woman I´m a great liar when it´s about me and my feelings and about who I really am. I want to get known and understood, but at the same time I don´t want to tell anybody. What a dilemma.
Hugs, and have a beautiful weekend!
-Maria
This gave me chills; it was gorgeous. I love it lots and can totally relate.
I often wonder if the “perfect” women also feel awkward. Perhaps they feel that way about their words and how they express themselves?
I don’t really know what “perfect” is (what does that mean?), but I’d say this post is perfection. It makes me happy and I am going to play that song again.
Thanks, Poppy.
I’ll tell you what you did: you opened yourself up to love. This is the only perfection, for it transforms the life we live from zone to zone with an atmosphere that can work miracles if we let it. Love doesn’t believe in the limits of the everyday world, and transcends them with a higher vision and set of values, minimizing obsessions with appearance and welcoming genuine relationships of sincerity and substance. This lends a new light to our uniqueness, a beauty which no cosmetics could ever replicate, always appreciated by those who also dare to love.
“Only with the heart does one see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.” (The Little Prince.)
Great post, Poppy. As to why you (and I) get spanked… Ah, the mystery of life.
Go figure!
I always loved that song. When I first heard it, I was young and a long way from finding a man to share my life with. In fact, I never thought I would, because what man would want me? This song gave me a little hope.
Hugs,
Hermione
Poppy has done something good here, and she appreciates all your kind words and thoughts, only she can’t say so at the moment due to a migraine. She promised to say proper thanks later when she feels better, but asked that I step in and let you know that she has read your wonderful comments and loves them. It’s just that the screen is too bright to look at long enough to type.
Also she wishes it known that white bread is evil, and probably was the cause of her migraine. I’m afraid what happened was that all she had for breakfast was tea and toast, and then didn’t bother to eat lunch before going for a run. I think it entirely likely that that was the trigger, so hopefully lesson learnt.
Or is learning lessons something I will always have to help her with in other ways?
Well, never mind, and thanks again for your lovely thoughts.
Feel better, Poppy.
I hope you feel better soon sweetie. Migraines are the pits.
Feel better soon Poppy WE NEED you! I remember during the show Judging Amy Amy’s daughter chose to sing this song for a talent show and Amy was like why is she singing THAT song it’s the lamest song in the whole musical!? I didn’t watch the show much after that statement,the writer’s obviously NEVER really listened to this song with their hearts.
Good morning,
I am so sorry I was not around yesterday. I got a horrid migraine and I could not see (all the swirly shapes and flashing lights) for ages and then I could and my head still hurt lots. It was a total waste of a Saturday. Not once, in my whole life have I had a migraine on a work day. How unfair is that?
Scarlet, I am glad it made you laugh at the end and what you wrote was so lovely. I worry not about being perfect as it not something likely to trouble me. Thank you so much for your comment. I am a lucky girl.
Paul, my childhood was a bit blugh but I really do not mean to complain at all. Like you say, I have found someone who makes it all better now. Thank you for saying I come across to you like that. It made me blush rather. I am glad the thingamajig is back. I looked for it and tried to make it better but I do not know if I made it better.
Maria is a beautiful name, isn’t it? I love that you feel like I do.
Barely Pink, (Congratulations on getting Chrossed!) It gave you chills! I am a bit humbled by all this. Thank you so much. I am getting shy.
Lorraine, how beautifully you put that. I did open up to love and I think it was about time too. I love The Little Prince, a profound and wonderful book. The idea of love transcends the limits of the everyday world is wondrous.
Hermione, it gave me hope too. I love that a song can speak to us like that.
Scunge, that is what the writers did not do. They did not listen with their hearts, how could they call themselves writers when they were that deaf? Silly muppets.
I am going for a walk soon, sunglasses on and fresh air- that is what I need.
Don’t forget that there actually was a spanking in the movie … okay for me to enjoy when I was 12, but not so much anymore.
I know just what you mean and thank you for referring to it with such tact. I was transfixed by that brief spank as a child and would love to have explored it here but did not for the reasons you understand.
This is one of my favorite movies, and I’ve always had a huge crush on the Captain. Mmm… especially when he goes marching around carrying that riding crop!
I’ve always been partial to the other song in the gazebo… 16 going on 17. Thank you for sharing this lovely post, Poppy.
I know! I know!
I do love it when I find someone with the same kind of crush as me.
Squeal! Yes, I know!!
Sorry.
I love all those songs. I must put them on my ipod. Works going to love it. (ish)