This is a lump of life thoughts because I had a moment today where I realised a tremendous benefit in my life from the submission that I show (that I try to show) to Himself.
I suspect that girls like me are a type, that we have some kind of submission within us that we want very much to express and that we spend a lot of our lives trying to find a place and manner of submission. That sounded clinical but it isn’t.
We want to submit, we have a strong sense of guilt, we are great at feeling blame – we can be quite sad little creatures. we would not want to be any trouble but we have a rough time waiting for someone who loves us in the right way.
And then we meet him (or her) and we get told off in the right way and for the right things. We watch as we are fetched from where we were and taken to a new place that is safe and pure. I know that sounds vague but the alteration is so much, the landscape so new that it is hard to understand the change.
But today this is what happened. I was at work and someone was mean to me. I have a senior position and I was dealing with a rather silly woman (not the same one as last week) who was throwing a little wobbler. Because I am now a boss type person she felt able to vent at me and throw misdirected anger at me. She said horrid and unkind things about me and even as she spoke I knew that her rage was misplaced and I could hear her whilst knowing that what she said was not true or fair. I did not like what she said and it hurt for a moment but it did not go into me. I did not feel angry or accept what she said as true.
Writing this now, just hours later I cannot recall what she said at all. A few months ago I would have internalised every word and taken all her barbs as truth. I would not have been able to shake those words off for months, maybe years.
I get told off when I am bad. I am bad sometimes and I have faults. But I know what my faults are and I am able to say sorry for them. I am able to accept blame for things that I do.
Untrue words can’t hurt me like they used to. People being unkind can’t hurt me like they used to. This is because I am able to submit to a man that loves me and is brave enough to look me in the eye and tell me just what he thinks. The whole world feels kinder and safer because of that.
Submission has set me free. I am a happy girl.
I hope that you are happy too.
Poppy,
I couldnt have written it better myself. I too don't take things so personally now. I feel freer and more secure with myself because I know that no matter what hurts me or may make me feel bad that I have an HOH who will love me, protect me, tell me when I am wrong or right and just be there for me. Isn't TTWD incredible!!!
Submission is empowerment.
Nice!
Hey Poppy, that's wonderful!
I've never heard it put quite like that before.
Very aptly said. This made me smile.
Poppy, this is very good to read, you are strong because you know your value, your worth, excellent.
Another person finds their place in life and the world is a happier planet.
As am I, for knowing that you are.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Poppy – I hope that I can one day reach the place you are. I had a meltdown last night, based on something someone did. In the morning light, Sir reminded me that I was being completely irrational, that it was nothing to get worked up over. You know what, looking back at it, He's right.
Good morning!
It is incredible Janet and we are lucky, lucky girls. We must have been very good somewhere to be so lucky.
Thank you Missy and Karl (long time no see) and Dev. I am glad to have made you smile, you see how good I am? I made you smile.
Paul, I am only just started to be strong and know a bit about myself, it really is this way of being that has let me grow and be happy. Himself helps lots.
Marci, I think we are at the same place. I do still get upset about silly things sometimes. I try never to but I do. I think if you can get upset for only one night and then listen to Sir and see what he says then that is pretty good. I suspect an awful lot of men in the world would love it if the woman they loved just got mad about something for one night and then calmed down and listened to them. You sound pretty great just as you are. (And your picture is beautiful!)
Poppy –
I'm not so sure I'm as evolved as you yet. I am a work-in-progress, feeling like for every step forward, I take two steps back. Fortunately Sir is v. patient with me – I can be a handful at times. (Learning to control my Irish temper is challenge!)
To let you know, I enjoy your blog and I am one of those girls who has read it and feels a little less alone. Thanks for the compliment on my pic – that made my day.
Keep writing – I might not comment often, but there are times that what you've written has helped me through a rough patch – it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's been there/felt that way. Perhaps one day Sir will grant me the privilege to blog too.
m.
Hi Marci,
It is just the same for me and I am on the same little dance of one forward and two back. I am sure we both have days when we are two forward and one back. I also can be a handful and although I am half Irish I have never thought to blame my temper on the Irish part!
(I find the Irish side of my family far better tempered than the English side, maybe that is just my family. We should do a study.)
I am so glad that you enjoy my blog and that there are days when it has spoken to you and helped, you saying that helps me.
Look at us being all lovely to one another. I wish I could stay here today, a whole day of scribbling and snuggling the dogs.
Sigh.
Off to work for me.
Poppy, that was a lovely post. I am so glad you have learned to ignore the nonsense that people throw at you. I was on the receiving end of something similar last week, and while I was very upset, what was amazing was the number of people who rallied round me and comforted me. They all reinforced my notion that my attacker was well known for that sort of thing.
Stay strong!
Hugs,
Hermione
Thank you so much, Hermione.
How can two such lovely people as us have people even try to be mean to them?
I think all mean people should be spanked really, really hard until they cry and say sorry.
Poppy, I am all for that! Provided they don't enjoy being spanked, that is!
Have a great weekend!
Hugs,
Hermione
Thank you do much for this post !!! As submissive wife sometimes is hard to understand exactly where my happiness come from. This lifestyle help me feel better about myself not only as a woman, but also as a wife and mother.
I appreciate that so much. Thank you for saying this. Do you know what? I am dealing with exactly the same woman today and reading this post again reminds me how I feel. You are kind and serendipitous.
Poppy, I just discovered this post for the first time. I still struggle a lot with the things you mention here. How nice to hear that its possible to move past that. Even when I know the things people say arent true, I still allow them to hurt me sometimes.
I hope someone gives the woman bothering you a taste of her own medicine.
I gave her a taste of her own medicine.
Em, I think girls like us are open to what other people say. We feel it deeply and I think that we need to have our ears and hearts filled with positive messages from people we trust- otherwise we do tend to internalize what others say, no matter how untrue or unkind.
I loved this post when you first wrote it, Poppy, and since we have revisited it, I have to say I love it all over again. Submission is what I am, the very heart of who I am, and yet, how hard it is to do it…the conundrum, the ambivalence, the fury, the fight, the uncertainty. I fight it, and then I give in to it. And then, I am free.
xoxox