For reasons that I will not go into recently I have been trying to explain this thing we do to a novice. This person is not a novice in anything else at all, that makes it easier and harder. There is so much to be misunderstood about this world and if one is battle hardened, if one has seen so much of life – it can be that it might seem that we are headed into an abyss of degradation and crassness.
It has helped me though, trying to explain where I am now, where we are, what we do, why we do it.
I am different than I was a year ago, I have learned a lot and still know almost nothing. I like that I have so much to learn, a year ago that would have frustrated and embarrassed me.
Now, I understand that knowing so little is good, it shows I have a path ahead of me to tread. I look at the horizon and smile.
In Hinduism there is a concept of yoga. Yoga is not a form of exercise but rather a path to the ultimate. Each person chooses their own path, maybe their path chooses them. There are many kinds but amongst them are Bhakti Yoga (love), Jnana Yoga (wisdom), Hatha Yoga (balance, the sun and the moon, the feminine and the masculine) I could carry on and on and so far I have simplified it all so much as to make it most frustrating to those who understand yoga. But the point I wish to make is this; we find our path and tottle along it as well as we can.
My path is not your path.
My path is not what I thought it would be. I could never have imagined that my path, my self-realisation (what an awful concept, I do apologise) would involve this exploration. I have studied religion my whole adult life, explored how to be and yet here I am, finding truths in this strange world I could never have imagined.
What is this strange world?
It is somewhere between a cocktail party and a school room. It is a garden with high walls but lawns that glide into the horizon.
It is sexual pleasure that makes every cell glisten and sparkle but without a mention of crass details.
It is submission that is not balanced by a violent dismissal of anyone who is not “the one.”
It is learning about the world all over again, it is childhood from an adult perspective.
It is not needing a single prop or role to play. It is more real than the props I use at work to convince myself and the world that I know exactly what I am doing and everyone should listen to me.
It is not easy, but what in life is? Why should this be any different?
How wonderful it is to know we have so much to look forward to. And, I love the new design!
Lovely post and lovely new look!
Continuing to enjoy your splendid writing…
xoxo, Missy
Thank you for both comments. Missy, I must admit I followed the link on your site to the blog designers place. I thought this seemed very girlie and a little bit boudoir.
I know it was a bit deep today but tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I will not be at all deep then.
I remember someone first trying to tell me the whats and whys of submission. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around it; why any woman would wish to be degraded, humiliated, or take great pride in obedience was beyond me. Then a thought occurred:
“Wait…you want to be all that men desire?”
“Yes! But just for one man.”
I thought it was the most brilliant of concepts. Get what you want not by manipulating a lover in the ways our parents taught us, but by becoming our lover’s fantasy, and thus becoming our own fantasy.
Yet most brilliant of all is that everyday I get deeper into this lifestyle, the less I know, the more humbling it becomes, and in turn I feel younger.
Whoever first grasped on to this idea was a true innovator…
-B
I need to work out how to make this font a bit darker. I may have to go back to a different site layout which is a shame.
It is a brilliant concept, isn't it?
It can be hard sometimes, your happiness depending on making someone else happy or fulfilling their expectations. I think, very sadly, that I often fall far short.
I know just what you mean about feeling more humble and younger everyday. I have been thinking just that same thing myself recently.
You can change all font colors of any section of this decor in the hotbiggity blog settings. Go back and simply try different font colors or sizes. It’s fairly easy.
I’m don’t really think anyone should place too much value on making others happy. Doing one’s best to make them happy yes, but some people ain’t gonna crack a smile no matter what. We can’t make our lovers happy, only they can do that.
Besides, what is happiness? A brief and momentary moment occurring during times of great productivity?
Everyone falls short. It ain’t called “the human race” for nothin’, and if it was easy, what would be the prize?
Maybe we as humans we are fated to live life always coming up short. It kinda depends where you place your bar of standards no?
Nothin’ wrong with high or even unrealistic standards, as long as attempting to leap that high is positive and doesn’t throw you into depression.
Poppy, nice and interesting post.
No, being a good submissive isn't easy, if it was, would it be as rewarding as it is.
I've been into Yoga most of my life, it is truly a simple thing, we westerners do like to complicate things.
All the great teachers have said, in one way or another, "unless you become as a little child." Meaning lose the preconceptions you grew up with, see the world anew.
That's what you are doing, good for you.
If I had one wish, it would be that Himself could be with you tomorrow.
Dispite that have a good one dear girl.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Oops, here’s the fix for the decor:
go to dashboard>layout>fonts and colors>
All fonts can be changed there…obviously change “comments” to something a bit darker, eh?
B
I love the bit about studying religions, and what you have discovered/are discovering here. I can completely relate!
What always astonishes me, is how there is always another facet to discover, and how it just suddenly flashes, white with light, where you never even suspected anything before.