One of my least favourite phrases in the whole world is “Life’s not fair.” I used to hear this a lot when I was growing up.
I just wrote a paragraph about why I hate that phrase so much but I don’t want to include it. You are going to have to take it on trust that it makes me angry and tense to hear. I think even to explain why makes me sound like a victim and I am loathe to become one of those, even for one second.
Anyway, the other day Himself upset and annoyed me. He is human and we don’t h
ave a relationship where we think he is perfect. I love him, I think he is wonderful, wise, loving and kind but just not perfect. If I think he is wrong I tell him and I do not think he would have picked me if he wanted a sycophantic little puppy.
I was irked. He ceased, apologised and behaved like him again but I was still annoyed. My emotion would not go away. Partly I wanted him to be perfect so that I could look up to him all the time and I was scared to know that he was just as human as the rest of us. Partly, I was just angry with him. He apologised and explained but I could not let it go.
What bugged me was that if I did that he would tell me off until I cried and then do his thing. If I did that and we were together he would have spanked me until my bottom seceded. But it wasn’t me , it was him and I all I got was to be mad. I told him all of this and he said about two lines that made everything good again.
He told me that this thing isn’t fair, that’s not how it works for us.
And all my bad feelings went away. He made it better with just those few words.
With those few words he told me all that I needed to hear. He told me that there is inequality in our relationship. And there is, he has to know what to do all the time, he has to be calm and patient even when I am being a bit tricky.
It is not fair but it works in my favour, I think.
I also think that he thinks it works in his favour.
Isn’t that perfect?
It also told me that I had to accept what he said. he told me it was over and I could relax again.
I don’t need fair. I need to be loved, feel his authority and feel his eye on me. I don’t think that it is fair but I do think it is wonderful.
NB- I am still in the mountains. I wrote this before I left. Clever, huh?
Dominant or submissive, who gets the short end of the stick?
I suppose the answer is much like life: they both do, it depends on the situation.
Missy sometimes has to swallow it (and I don’t mean THAT), even when I might not be entirely in the right (or downright wrong).
On the other hand…
Missy cums 60-100 times a week, and has a lover, a friend, and a mentor that focuses a great deal more attention upon her then most men.
The relationship is not fair, yet we don’t really want it to be, now do we?
-B
It does work in my favor. Or favour. And what's the idea labeling this 'sulking,' young lady? I told you to quit that.
Poppy, I suspect that Doms errors worry them a lot, more than they do the subs.
After all the D/s relationship is supposed to be unequal.
But when you think of it it's a much more complex.
Nice post dear girl, enjoy the mountains, I hope that you have taken lots of scenic photo's which you can share.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Wow, B. Good point and an interesting thought. I am a girl though and my breath was taken away rather with the "60-100" thingy. I think I may be a little more shy than Missy and find such topics not easy to discuss, I need a little lead in before being hit with that kind of detail. I will change the subject (that is what English people do.)
Dev, I was sulking, it was about sulking and then not sulking anymore because it all got better.
Paul, I think you are right. I think it is harder to be Top or a Dom because you have to be right the whole time. I would love to hear your thoughts on the complexties of the D/s relationship sometime. Picture to follow in about five minutes.
Oh. Well then. As long as it all got better. And glad you're back from the mountains.