How many of you know about this kind of day?
I should have a good day.
I have just had breakfast that was delicious and fits exactly into what I should eat.
I have read the paper and drank two cups of coffee.
In about an hour I will go off to have my hair done. I am having highlights put in and never have my hair properly dried because it is so long I prefer to let it dry on its own.
I have a great book to take with me to the hairdressers.
This afternoon I will go for a run, it is warm here with a light rain that is perfect to run in.
I will have a bath and read a little more. I may tidy my dressing table as my makeup appears to have had little make up babies- there are so many teeny, tiny pots of lotions and potions that they need rounding up and re-homing in new little drawers.
I have no jobs to do, no expectations on me, I can play at being a girl to my heart’s content.
But …
It may be that I am in a little trouble. It may be that I did something that I did not mean to do (ish) and it may be that later on today we will “talk about it.”
Well how on earth is a girl supposed to have a lovely day with that hanging over her?
I have a small feeling in my tummy of nerves and a wanting to hide feeling that will not go away. I have a list of explanations and excuses growing in my head that keep drowning out the book I am trying to read. I don’t want to talk to him about what I did because I don’t.
I have no idea what will happen other than somehow using a process I really do not like at all by the end of the day we will both be OK.
Why can’t we just skip to that part?
Oh yeah…been there. Funny thing, having just had a bit of a discussion here, and not knowing how it would go, I was thinking about the time leading up to, the girl rituals I have developed. I mean…what does one DO?
I find myself doing 'girl stuff'.
So Poppy (& Sara) am I the fool wishing for these moments? Isn't there a part (or have I foolishly romanticized a difficult reality) .. . a part in which you feel you are blessed to have such a connection, that you've offered so much trust that he's has the privilege of working in your mind today (by making you wait) and that (in theory) you will change yourselves for the better in the future? Or am I truly lucky that I don't live through it? And additionally you two are thinking "You are clueless to the realities of submission at the hands of a spanker?" Thanks so much if you've the time to respond. KayLynn
Thank you Sara- so this is a tried and tested path is it?
We girls due for a discussion should have a virtual coffee shop (we would have to provide our own real cake) to meet up in to ponder the mysteries of life and nail colour and things like that.
KayLynn, if he turned around to me and said , "I have had a rough day and I know you are sorry so let us forget it." I would cry for a week.
I feel utterly blessed to be so understood and cared about. I am totally bamboozeled (I have no idea how to spell that) by the way that this man loves me despite me stuffing up so often and am equally amazed in how he makes me feel so much better about myself than I ever have before.
I love that I can fight this and him because I really, really don't want him to say my name like he will and … you know the rest. I can fight him and he comes anyway. Never would I have imagined I could be loved like that. I think it is that love that will change me.
I hope very, very much that you will have the chance to have a horrid day like this one yourself.
Poopy the coffee meet sounds lovely, just let me know when! I'll bring the cake!
KayLynn, if you asked me during that time, before, I would most likley tell you I do NOT want this, it is all a misunderstanding anyway, and yes, you are crazy. However, the truth is, I would be crushed too, if he did not follow through, do what he does, live up to his standards and insist I do the same. It is a conundrum.
Is there an opt out clause?
Is there? I will take it now.
KayLynn- do you want to take my place today? I will be selfless and stand aside.
Poppy, I think we must try for the opt out…make a good strong list of excuses, reasons, circumstances and qualify everything. Bring a legal pad with notes. I always do.
It will all be for naught, but it will keep you busy!
I think it is important that you are having your hair done today. One must.
It will be fine. This you know…because he truly loves you.
Poppy, you are such a lucky girl, and it's so obvious that you really appreciate this.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Thank you Paul.
May I come and stay at your house this evening? I will bring dinner.
Poppy,
You indeed are loved. And no seems we can never opt out of what is coming and as for excuses, well my HOH says I am the queen of excuses and wrote the book on them. Little does he know its just the workings of the female mind.
I hope all goes well tonight, remember how you didn't want to do this as you are laying in his arms tonight and all is well. That is the true reason we love this thing we do.
Janet
Finding our Way Blogger
http://www.wilswife.blogspot.com